New Home

Hello Everyone,

My blog has moved to a new home i.e. www.mwende.matotoya.net . I hope to see you all there :-).

Thank you and God bless.

For Dreamers

To dream is a beautiful thing,
I think it should be considered one of the wonders of the world
That the human mind can see beyond today, tomorrow,
Create what is not, believe in what is yet to come.
The world needs dreamers to change the status quo,
To show it that we can do better, be better.
That there is no impossibility, no limit to human potential.

Close your eyes. Imagine a world where everyone is free and treated equally
Regardless of who they are or where they come from.
That especially minorities and the disadvantaged are given a fighting chance,
That all work under humane conditions and can earn an honest living to feed their families.
Imagine a world where children are given the space to be children
And enjoy the innocence and bliss that is childhood and learn to dream.

Imagine a world where Mother Nature is man's friend
Because we protect her children, she nourishes us and our children.
No deforestation, deserted open quarries, plastic bags floating down Nairobi river,
No fumes greying up the blue in the sky.
Imagine a world where material wealth is used to drive forward change
Not to deprive the disadvantaged or muzzle the voices of change.
Now open your eyes. The world still looks the same. Nothing has changed.

To dream is a beautiful thing,
I think it should be considered one of the wonders of the world.
But dreaming is half the work. The dream must be implemented.
The chasm between the dream realm and reality is wide but not impossible!
Let's build a bridge!
The bridge we build may be wooden and creeky at first
But with planning, perserverance and passion
We will build with concrete, we will build with steel!
We will change the status quo,
Show the world that it can do better, be better.

WHERE DID THE GOOD MEN GO?

Where did the good men go? No, I’m not asking this in the context of relationships. The common question asked by lots of single women. I assure you ladies, there are in existence.  Just stop looking for mangoes at the apple tree. However, that is a different conversation all together. I’m posing my question in relation to the silence that is ripping the fabric of society. Where did the good men go?

It’s been almost two weeks since Todd Akin, Republican candidate for U.S. Senator from Missouri, made his controversial remarks on what he termed ‘legitimate rape’. If you missed that, Todd Akin on CBS news His comments were followed by a public outcry and the feeble attempt by the Republican Party to have him opt out of the race. The man will not be moved, however. My favourite response to his ludicrous and extremely insensitive remarks is by Eve Ensler, renowned American playwright, performer, feminist and activist. Eve Ensler Huffington Post Then there are the comments made by Jacob Zuma, South African president, that it’s “not right” for women to be single and that having children is “extra training for a woman.” Jacob Zuma The Guardian

There are a lot of challenges that women face whether they are a housewife in rural Kenya or a high flying executive in a fortune 500 company in New York. I guess the field has never been quite even since Eve ate the apple. Though I tend to think it was a mango (they are so delicious).  We know the story. God finds Adam and Eve hiding and asks why? Well, long story short Adam totally blames Eve for his sin. Sound familiar? To most women, yes. We blame ourselves for not only our mistakes but those of others around us and even worse, allow them to blame us for their mistakes. It’s as though we have an in-built guilt machine.

I have not gone through rape and I certainly do not wish to. The thought alone makes my guts want to spill out. I honestly can only imagine the trauma that comes with it and for that to be compounded by the ever present guilt machine, is a horrific thought. Hence my anger at ignorant statements by Todd Akin and others like him. Where do the good men come in you may ask? Right here.  

I believe in equal rights. Yes, women should be treated as equal players in the society and recognized for their immense contribution to the world. (I however, draw the line at men bashing.) If equity is to be a complete success, then men must be active participants. That’s why I ask, where did the good men go? A lot of men say they don’t agree with the discrimination against women yet are completely silent when it most counts. Women’s rights are mostly defended by other women.

Men are supposed to provide, protect and offer leadership. Women can do all those things too but that doesn’t mean they want men to slack off.  There is a role that men are to play in the society: A role that cannot be usurped.  I believe that if men stood together with their sisters, wives, mothers and all women in the world that are just like their sisters, wives and mothers, the road to equity would be shorter. 

Good man, why are you silent when your friend gets that girl drunk and has sex with her when she’s out cold? Remember her confused face in the morning? Her terror as she got up to leave? Your friends laughed about it. How easy she was. Then they went out to try and score another one. You consoled yourself that it wasn’t rape. She knew what she was getting herself into. It’s rape. And you were silent.  Good man, why are you silent when your boss is harassing your colleague at work because she won’t sleep with him? You say it’s none of your business, but it is. And you are silent.  Good man, why are you silent when you know your neighbor beats his wife? You hear her screams every night. You turn up the music on your stereo. Even a 7.1 surround system doesn’t drown a conscience. Still you are silent.

It’s easy to look the other way when it’s happening to someone else. What happens when it’s your sister those guys raped? Or your wife or girlfriend the boss harassed? Or your aunt whose husband punched straight into the ER? Then it’s stops being trivial and easily ignored. Good men, you have got to stand up to the douche bags misrepresenting manhood out there. If you set the standards and enforce them in your realm of influence, the world may actually begin to be a better place. Simplistic and somewhat idealistic I know, but I believe it’s a step in the right direction. The war will not be won with half an army. Good men, speak. The world is waiting to hear from you.

PRODUCTION PROCESS

I can't say I like them but I don't mind them either. They are mine after all. I take time to look at them. I'm not talking about a quick awkward glance here, but a real meaningful look. I am not ashamed of them. They are a reminder of where I've been... I've become quite comfortable with them, these my faeces .

Shocked? Don't be. It's my age, right? I know, I'm a bit too young to already be comfortable with my faeces. I should be afraid, embarrassed that they'll find out that faeces and I even have a cozy relationship let alone know eachother. I should be squirming, hiding, rushing to get out of the loo as though I'm being timed. "They are probably wondering what I'm doing in here", should be nagging at me. Erm, no. I take my time. They are mine.

There are those who will misinterpret this to mean that I like faeces. Firstly, I don't like faeces(see line 1 paragraph 1). Secondly, what part of mine did you not understand? These same people will go around hurling their faeces at my face since they are convinced I like, nay love faeces!

I'm at a zebra crossing. I begin to cross. You slow down to let me. But all the while, you are honking incessantly. You even begin to inch forward in an arrogant fashion as though to run me over. I kick your bonnet and give you a piece of my mind. You stare back mouth agape. Clearly, you thought I like faeces. Hence, you let it rip and they came spewing out of your exhaust pipe. I'll say it again. I don't like faeces! And I'm only comfortable with mine.

Believe me, if I could bring about faeces extinction, I would! Not for the reasons most would think of though. Faeces make us vulnerable as they reveal us to be the dependent beings we truly are. The system must work or we are going to be pretty uncomfortable. So we are forced to go out of our way to try and keep the system working at a good efficiency level. The better the system, the better the faeces along with a smooth production process. A lot of work! But necessary.

A smooth production process requires acceptance first. Accept that faeces are part of the settings and that's that. Then do everything to make things easier on you and God knows those you live with. You know, roughage, water, regular 'meditation moments' to clear the system etc Then do yourself a favour and don't allow anyone to get away with hurling their faeces at you and for goodness sake, don't hurl yours at anyone either. You have enough faeces of your own to deal with and believe it or not, so do they.

On Tantrums.

Ok, so I have been losing sleep. Which sucks coz I love my sleep! Why am I losing sleep? After a lot of denial, I admitted it to myself. I'm hurt. There, I said it. Finally.

Of course, I am expected to be a good Christian and be the bigger person. Forgive and forget. Easy to do when you're not the one hurt. "Don't let it get to you", I've been advised. Apparently, I'm way too cool to be stressed. Stunners on and hella cool swag is all it takes to shake it off. From other quarters, I've been advised to not think about it and it'll go away on it's own. Oh and of course there are the wet sleeping bags that insist I'm being dramatic and should stop throwing tantrums. I've made real attempts but none of this is working! So I'm going to do what I should have done from the get go!

1. Cry. Scratch that. Bawl. Weep. Roll on the floor!
2. Hit something. Punch a pillow till my knuckles are sore.
3. Break something. I was thinking a glass. I'll buy one. No, three for the occasion.
4. Burn something. All those poems I wrote. Erm no. Let me give this one more thought.
5. Sing really bad karaoke.
6. Binge. Ice-cream, cake, crisps. The works!
7. Listen to sad, sad (bordering on pathetic) music.
8. Write a blend of downright mean and morbid poetry.

I wish I could get to number 10. Ten things to do when grieving. Has a nice ring to it. Hmmm and possibly book sales. People love a good ten things self-help book.

Don't judge me. On second thought, you can if you want to. For the first time, I actually don't care. For once I'm going to accept reality. I'm going to allow myself the space and time to grieve. It's my right. And I do owe it to myself. If you need some crying time, don't wait to be given permission. Go ahead. You'll be the better for it. Promise.

PS:Kleenex should start paying me... The amount of business I've given them this week!