Battle for My Soul

Resounding uncertainty
Trying to get a grip on reality
Stay alert but I'm struggling
Confusion, need mental clarity.
Sleepless nights dazed days
Fast paced life, rash ways
Don't care for nothing unless it pays
Thrive in the dark, would probably melt in the sun's rays.
But the darkness can be suffocating
And I'm getting tired of the superficial socializing
The cliques and the routines are agonizing
And all this pretending is tiring

My heart is so cold,
Can't hear what I'm being told
Is it too late, have already been sold?
Exchanged my freedom for an ounce of gold?
When did this begin? This battle for my soul

Standing still but on the rampage
Free as a bird but in a cage
Moving at neck breaking speed but on the same page
Smile on my face, but in my heart there's rage.
Life is easy but my shadow weighs a tonne
I know who I should be but not who I've become
Conformed to the liberties of lawlessness
An insatiable appetite for restlessness
It eats at you till there's nothing left
Till you wonder if nothing is all you ever felt.

My heart is so cold,
Can't hear what I'm being told
Is it too late, have already been sold?
Exchanged my freedom for an ounce of gold?
When did this begin? This battle for my soul

Fear, panic the daily routine
Ignoring the voice speaking softly to me
My eyes are wide open but I'm afraid to look
Afraid of condemnation from this big black book
Pushing away any thoughts of change
My life is great wouldn't have it any other way
But the voice, it won't leave me alone
But I'm immovable with this heart of stone
Spare the lectures and the rectifications
I don't have time, I have too many obligations
But I can't lie to myself I don't feel something
That I don't recognize that it's with death I'm flirting
My heart is so cold,
Can't hear what I'm being told
Is it too late, have already been sold?
Exchanged my freedom for an ounce of gold?
When did this begin? This battle for my soul

The silence can be so loud
Loneliness even with friends around
When your eyes betray sadness you didn't know you carry
When you realize there's a deep emptiness inside you can't fill or bury
Even if you suppressed every emotion
Got rid of all cares and cautions
The music of melancholy would still play
You hear a different note every day
It crescendos till it becomes your life's soundtrack
Then it hits you there's no going back
Yesterday is but a memory,
The past is history the future is coming
All a part of life's rhythm
All a part of life's journey

My heart is so cold,
Can't hear what I'm being told
Is it too late, have already been sold?
Exchanged my freedom for an ounce of gold?
When did this begin? This battle for my soul

How do you fight something you cannot see?
When you're not sure what you believe?
When you're not sure what you know?
When you have no place left to go?
Life has become a merry-go round
Spinning-there's no solid ground
I used to think I was invincible; I was wrong
But my opponent is indefatigable; so strong
I just can't do this on my own
I need God but I've been away for so long
But like the prodigal son I'm coming back home
Now I realize I was never alone

My heart is no longer cold
I"m starting to hear what I'm being told
It's not too late i haven't already been sold
Exchanged my freedom for an ounce of gold
This began a long time ago
Thank God I'm not alone coz this is a battle for my soul

For all have sinned and fallen short of God's glory
If it wasn't for Jesus that would have been the end of the story
We have a second chance with God, a choice not an obligation.
Coz free will gives us the power to make our own decisions.
I am not perfect and I will never be
But through Him that strengthens me, I can do all things
I am free from any condemning charges against me.
I can find grace and mercy in Him in my time of need
I no longer feel empty, caged or lost
My freedom has been bought a high cost.
I am a new creation, I have a brand new start.
I will search for you and I will find you with all my heart.

A heart no longer cold
That listens to what it's told
Will not be easily sold
Even for all the world's gold
He's flipped me 180 degrees
Nothing in the world could ever feel as good as this!
Freedom has made me bold
On me the world no longer has a hold
And the best part is I will never be alone
In this battle for my soul.